NEWS FLASH

Nico’s Big Mouth received this tape from an anonymous source within JAMAICAN Prime Minister BRUCE GELDING’S office.  I feel it is my duty as a JOURNALIST to revel its contents.

What I heard shocked my sensibilities and shook my trust in BIG GOVERNMENT.

What I heard on the tape was a conversation between PM Bruce Gelding and another top aid…

“Have you heard BUJU BANTON’S latest single COWBOYS, sir?” asked the top aid.

“No I haven’t, you know I do not listen to that kind of NEGRO music, why would you ask such foolishness?” the PM lashed out.

 “BUJU’S been complaining about us again,” mentioned the aid.

“That ghetto savage understands nothing about the running of a POLITICAL MACHINE” the PM muttered sounding almost offended.

“But Sir” cut in the aid…”if he stirs up the youth, and gets the attention of the populace…”

“Are you saying that this insignificant savage is a threat to my superiority? “ the PM muttered definitely sounding offended.

 “But this office can’t neglect the possibility of…” the aid sheepishly cautioned.

“The possibility of what?” angrily asked the PM.

 “This BUJU BANTON must be removed from public eye, and disgraced before his fans. We have to be careful though…under no circumstances can we turn this ghetto savage into a Martyr. Sir” 

A long silence and then the sound of a phone dialing. Finally the voice of the PM’s aid broke the pause…

”This is the Office of Jamaican Prime Minister…yes…connect me through to the director of the Department of Drug Enforcement Agency please…this is …Hello?

Some shuffling sounds.

“Sir” the aid diligently responded, “I have the Director of the D.E.A. on the phone…”

Some more shuffling sounds. 

“This is Prime Minister Bruce Gelding.” “Yes, our Government has a nuisance that needs to be swatted away. We can not do it on our own soil, of course for the fear of a public backlash.”

A short pause and muffled nervous breathing.

“Our problem is in Miami County and under your jurisdiction. “

“Yes” “What?” “Yes that’s right.”

“Make it big offense…you know a charge that carries big jail time… You Americans don’t understand about RASTA.”

“Your American jury will just see the face of a crazed DREADLOCKED drug addict.”

“Make the deposit using the usual routing numbers?”

The tape ends. The tape is dated November 2009. A month later REGGAE LEGEND BUJU BANTON is dragged through AMERICAN JUSTICE.

You decide…